(This post is dedicated to Derek Tyson for enduring this experience with me. I can't tell you how many times we looked at each other with the "Did he really just say that" look.)
7 "Important" Issues Discussed at Bus Driving School
1. "How to know which animals are about to run in front of your school bus." Animals discussed included deer, horses, hogs, vultures, buzzards, and poodles. Indicators include eye contact and lowering of the head.
2. "Amphetamines were developed by the U.S. Army." My research (the highly reliable Wikipedia) indicates amphetamines were developed in Germany, although the US used them during World War II. The real concern: why in the world were we discussing this at Bus Driving School?
3. "If you have Night Blindness, don't drive at night." Did you really need to clarify that?
4. If you have a blowout, hold on to the steering wheel. As opposed to...???
5. "In Van Zandt county, if you don't shoot a parent who is sexually abusing their child, you've committed a sin. You will be "No Billed" in a court of law." Good to know!
6. "Bleeding to death is a big deal." Asphinctersayswhat?
And finally...
7. "If you're not willing to stick your ungloved fist in my kid's wound, I don't want you driving my kids." Are you freaking kidding me? At this point, I shut down because I knew this guy had serious issues. How do you know my "ungloved" fist isn't a danger to your child? Why is your child's life more important than my child's life, who may now live without a mother because I didn't use precautions? You, my dear sir, are an idiot!
As you can see, I learned a lot about bus driving.
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