I'm frustrated. I do everything for everyone in this family. Everything. No, I'm not exaggerating because my emotions are high. I literally do everything. The only exception might be mowing the lawn, which we all know is a seasonal thing. I also can say with 100% truth that I have offered to mow on numerous occasions when my other half was extra busy, but he declined the offer each and every time. (I think he enjoys the solitude of the lawn mower. I'm jealous.) There is no other "chore" in this house that belongs to anyone but me.
And I blame myself. I like things done a certain way, so the "if you want something done right, you do it yourself" philosophy has become my motto. By choice I have chosen this motto, so why am I so mad that no one helps with anything? The byproduct of my disorder? Spoiled kids.
The spoiledness of my children became apparent tonight in Walmart when a fight ensued over a foam sword that cost $1.97. Just writing these words makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. $1.97 PEOPLE! And I yelled at poor Walmart lady because my kids were being so disrespectful and rude to me, and obviously I couldn't spank them right there in the store (they're 12 and 8), lest I be charged with child abuse, so what's the next best thing? Yell at a total stranger.
It's 11:00 PM and all I want to do is drive back to Wally World and apologize to the lady. Maybe I'll call her. Going back into town requires putting on clothes. But she definitely deserves an apology.
As for my kids, changes are coming.
So, dear friends, tell me what works for you. Please, I beg of you, help me fight this disorder called "Control Freak". It's a real thing, and I have it. How do I relinquish control, and more importantly, hand over responsibility to others? It's not too late. I still can save the world from the wrath of my spoiled kids. 2016 seems like the perfect time to start.
No, seriously, I'm asking. Help!
