What a great weekend with family! The Alamo and Big Lou's Pizza in San Antonio on Saturday, appetizers and a movie with my mom and sis on Saturday night, and The Texas History Museum in Austin today. It's been a history-filled weekend enjoyed by all. For the most part...
The Trayvon Martin case caused a slight hiccup in an odd sort of way. (I'm not about to get political on you, so hang in there. This really is about something much deeper than politics.)
Let me begin with a few words about the stresses in our lives right now. Without going into much detail, the last month has been extremely trying for our family (Michael, Austin, Addison and myself), and I'm beyond proud of the way we've handled it. We are stronger than ever.
This morning, however, I was beyond stressed and taking it out on those I loved. Can anyone relate? A discussion of the Trayvon Martin case ensued which suddenly led to other fragile controversial issues. Before I knew it, my brother-in-law and I, polar opposites on the political front, were at it. The entire conversation lasted a total of five seconds (because we know we'll never agree), but this time I was more offended than ever. First of all, I'm not a gifted oral debater, so I get uncontrollably frustrated and flustered. Secondly, I sometimes think my family views me as the "less intelligent" one, especially when it comes to my "redneck" politics. My sister is a genius and my brother is close behind her. In actuality, this is my issue, an insecurity I've always had, and because I can't vocalize my thoughts in a split second, I probably do sound illiterate at times.
But I have no doubt in my mind I could write a political article for The New York Times that would blow your socks off and even change some minds.
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Thirty minutes later I'm sitting in the back of a packed Expedition crying my eyes out beneath my dark sunglasses, praying to God no one notices. Of course my sensitive Austin can feel my emotional distress, like he always can. I used the "allergies" excuse, which I don't think he bought but was sweet enough to let me be (while turning around every few seconds to check on me.)
Sitting in the far back, I'm trying to make sense of all this. Why am I so upset? It suddenly dawned on me these tears have been waiting for release since I pulled out of the driveway of my empty house in League City for the last time two weeks ago. I remember thinking it was odd I wasn't crying (I've cried with every move), but I chalked it up to being extremely tired from the two-day endeavor. Now the floodgates opened, and I wanted more than ever to be alone to cry it out. To cry out leaving a place we loved, to cry out losing a bidding war on a house we loved in Grand Saline, to cry out my new high profile responsibilities as a head coach, and the list goes on.
I thought I was angry with my B-I-L, but deep reflection proved otherwise. He's a great guy, husband, father, and uncle. He generously watched five kids last night, ALONE, so my sis, mom and I could have a girl's night. When we arrived at his house this morning the kids were showered and ready to go. I'm beyond impressed with the man my sister married, and although we agree on maybe 5% of the political issues out there (ironically, the Trayvon Martin case is one of them), my love for his character and our relationship is more important than gun control and abortions. Fortunately, I can have my political beliefs and he can have his, and we can still co-exist.
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Family is more important than a house. Family is more important than politics. Family is more important than anything. We can all live in this big, beautiful world together, we can co-exist, because relationships are what make our lives meaningful and happy. Nothing else.
And rest assured, I'm good. All I needed was a good cry and some introspection.
Robert Frost nailed it: "It goes on." And I'm looking forward to it.
