Thankful & Grateful & Volleyball

In honor of November and Thanksgiving and family and everything Fall, my blog will continue, and I'll try to stay as thankful and positive as possible. No promises though.

The end of volleyball season is tough. In a few weeks, even our state champions will mourn it's over. They'll, of course, have their shiny, state rings, so there's that. My team, however, had no playoff appearance this year, but our record really isn't indicative of what we're capable of. All we can do now is prepare for next season.

I always meet with my girls one-on-one to discuss how they felt about the season, their goals for next season, how they will achieve those goals, and so on. I was especially proud of one young lady who rarely touched the court, but after a mid-season coming-to-Jesus talk, quickly became one of our most exciting players to watch. In our meeting last week, I reiterated how proud I was of how she ended her season, and we talked about how she overcame the doubts within concerning her abilities as a volleyball player. I reminded her God gives us all talents, but it's our responsibility to use those talents. And He's proud of her for using hers.

Near the end of the conversation, she thanked me for sticking with her and motivating her to be the best player she could be. But her next sentence stopped me in my tracks. She was worried I was so disappointed in our season that I might not come back and coach next year, and she would be devastated if that happened.

Wait, what? This girl is one of the most stoic people I've ever met, on and off the court. She has a great personality, but a hard exterior. She's guarded, and to be honest, I truly thought she could take me or leave me. And here she is boldly expressing her feelings toward me as her coach. Needless-to-say, the gates opened.

I've often doubted my profession. I've always dreamed of writing, but in that moment I heard my own words coming back to me. Maybe God did create me to write. Maybe that is one of my talents, but maybe he also wants me to coach. It's stressful, and it doesn't pay well, and a lot of people don't like you. After all, we'll never make everyone happy. We're only human. We will make mistakes, but for those kids who, maybe, just a little bit, learned from us, or felt loved by us, or found us as a motivating force, that's why we do it.

For the first time in a long time I felt at peace with my career.

Tonight I received a text from a student I taught in League City five years ago. She's a thriving student at Texas State, as well as a thriving political activist. We're on opposite ends of this Presidential race, but in the real world, people, that really doesn't matter. "When I'm a super successful lawyer, you'll be one of the first people I thank for helping all my dreams come true."

No, thank YOU for reminding me my dreams come true daily. I am blessed.

Purpose and Voice. Find Them.

I'm not in the mood to write (if you were at the volleyball game, you probably know why), but I'm doing it anyway. I'm also not going over my ten minutes. I took a sleeping pill (if you were at the volleyball game, you probably know why), and my hope is to be knocked out within the half hour. This could get interesting.

I've missed days in my #write31days challenge, and the urge to write gets stronger each day I neglect my task. I now have at least ten topics I'd love to write about, including my Women of Coaching series, but I'm so overwhelmed with ideas that it messes with me. I remember this feeling. And I know if I continue to avoid writing, the urges will continue. Or I'll find ways to dull the urges, and eventually give up. So, I'm not done.

It's extra important I write tonight. When we lose a volleyball match, it weighs heavily on me. When my children are being idiots, also something we've dealt with tonight, it weighs me down. When my Monday was a true Monday, and it somehow carried into Tuesday, my mind is heavy. When I'm putting on the pounds, I'm literally weighted down, and this one especially sucks.

Writing is my release.

I'm not great, but one of the best compliments I've received was from one of my volleyball players. She confided she enjoys reading my blogs because she can hear me in the words. Isn't that what all writer's want? Our voice coming through in a specific set of words. Anyone could have written those words, but she heard ME. We all want to be heard, and for some of us, written words are the avenue best suited.

A huge thanks to all of you who are continuously supporting and encouraging my writing. You make my days brighter.

By the way, I may or may not have gone over my minutes, but who's counting anyway?

See the Good, Be the Good

A Time For Everything

(Disclaimer: I wrote this a month ago or so, but apparently forgot to publish it. Oops!)

(Photo Cred: Mandy Bolin)

Wearing two layers of clothes and wrapped tightly in a Christmas blanket, I enjoyed our last football game of the year. Once again the cards did not fall in our favor, but once again our boys showed heart in the face of adversity.  

It's no secret that nearly every team we've played this season has been bigger than us. There's no denying our sparse sideline compared to the fuller sidelines of our opponents. And let's just talk for a moment about the season-ending injuries we've faced: too many. 

Unfortunately, the same injury curse could be seen with our volleyball team.

Where do we go from here? I've been in mourning for a couple of weeks over volleyball season ending. Are there things I would have done differently? Absolutely. Every coach looks back and says the same thing (if they're honest with themselves.) All I can do is learn from this season and begin preparing for next season.  

People will not always agree with the decisions I make. That comes with the territory of being a head coach. I will never, no matter how hard I try, make everyone happy. Enemies are created, whether it be intentional or not. But I rest easy knowing I make every decision in the best interest of my girls and my team. I want to win, just like everyone else does. I've never met a coach who isn't making decisions based on winning. If they say otherwise, they're lying.

Want to know why? Everyone's happy if you're winning. No matter what. End of story. Fini.

Don't misunderstand: teaching kids how to survive in life, how to become contributing citizens, about respect and honor is infinitely more important; but winning remains a top goal. Everyone wants their kids to have success, and it's our job to help them achieve that. 

A sweet friend of mine has a son who plays on a traditionally winning team. This season, thanks mainly to realignment, they have struggled. She said recently, "There's no glory in losing. I don't know how you and Michael have done it the last two years." She said this out of true sympathy, because she knows how badly we want it for our teams, and that we are willing to do whatever to achieve success, both for personal reasons and because we love this community and these kids so much. (And she knows how undeniably competitive we are!)

There's a joke in the coaching profession that goes something like this: "If you win, it's because of the athletes. If you lose, it's because of the coach." We all know, win or lose, it's a little of both, but sometimes it feels less like joke and more like the truth, at least in the eyes of the outside world. So I just have to put one foot in front of the other, keep my head held high, and trust in God to help me make the best decisions for my kids. That's all I can do. 

To all of the amazing kids I am blessed to work with: thank you, thank you, thank you! While you may give me a headache from time to time, the joy you give me far outweighs the stress. I look forward to going to "work" each and every day. 

To the parents of these kids: thank you for trusting me with your babies. I know it's not easy! But know that you have done an amazing job raising these kids, which only makes my job easier. 

To those of you who have been there through it all: you are literally the reason I am able to keep going. Your random texts, pats on the shoulder, sweet hugs, all mean more than you will ever know. 

To my non-supporters: we may not see eye-to-eye on things, but please know that I care about the kids of Grand Saline as though they were my own. And that's what is most important. 

So, goodbye to another season. I am already looking forward #gsvbpo15!  

What's next? "Fore!"