Thankful & Grateful & Volleyball

In honor of November and Thanksgiving and family and everything Fall, my blog will continue, and I'll try to stay as thankful and positive as possible. No promises though.

The end of volleyball season is tough. In a few weeks, even our state champions will mourn it's over. They'll, of course, have their shiny, state rings, so there's that. My team, however, had no playoff appearance this year, but our record really isn't indicative of what we're capable of. All we can do now is prepare for next season.

I always meet with my girls one-on-one to discuss how they felt about the season, their goals for next season, how they will achieve those goals, and so on. I was especially proud of one young lady who rarely touched the court, but after a mid-season coming-to-Jesus talk, quickly became one of our most exciting players to watch. In our meeting last week, I reiterated how proud I was of how she ended her season, and we talked about how she overcame the doubts within concerning her abilities as a volleyball player. I reminded her God gives us all talents, but it's our responsibility to use those talents. And He's proud of her for using hers.

Near the end of the conversation, she thanked me for sticking with her and motivating her to be the best player she could be. But her next sentence stopped me in my tracks. She was worried I was so disappointed in our season that I might not come back and coach next year, and she would be devastated if that happened.

Wait, what? This girl is one of the most stoic people I've ever met, on and off the court. She has a great personality, but a hard exterior. She's guarded, and to be honest, I truly thought she could take me or leave me. And here she is boldly expressing her feelings toward me as her coach. Needless-to-say, the gates opened.

I've often doubted my profession. I've always dreamed of writing, but in that moment I heard my own words coming back to me. Maybe God did create me to write. Maybe that is one of my talents, but maybe he also wants me to coach. It's stressful, and it doesn't pay well, and a lot of people don't like you. After all, we'll never make everyone happy. We're only human. We will make mistakes, but for those kids who, maybe, just a little bit, learned from us, or felt loved by us, or found us as a motivating force, that's why we do it.

For the first time in a long time I felt at peace with my career.

Tonight I received a text from a student I taught in League City five years ago. She's a thriving student at Texas State, as well as a thriving political activist. We're on opposite ends of this Presidential race, but in the real world, people, that really doesn't matter. "When I'm a super successful lawyer, you'll be one of the first people I thank for helping all my dreams come true."

No, thank YOU for reminding me my dreams come true daily. I am blessed.

The Women of Coaching, Part 1

Throughout my career, I've been blessed to work with some amazing female coaches. Yes, I've worked with great coaches in general, but females in our profession are rare. It's especially tough to be a mom and a coach, but if the passion is within you and the calling is clear, you do it. Because without sports, there would be a void.

Shannon Lands came into my life in 2000, my first year of coaching, and to this day we stay in touch. Maybe it's only once a year at the Regional Golf Tournament, but each year we squeal like teenagers and hug as though it's been decades since our last encounter. Shannon mentored me in my first years in the profession, the hardest by far, and I'm forever indebted to her.

Shannon Massie came to Bonham a few years later, just as my other Shannon was leaving. Fate, no doubt. She was our head basketball coach, and I was one of her assistants. In high school, basketball was my LOVE. I was pretty good at it, too, but soon after college reality hit: I sucked as a basketball coach. I can teach any basketball skills a player needs, but when it comes to live action basketball play, I lose it. Shannon held my hand the entire year, and thankfully, that's the only year I've ever had to coach basketball.

Shannon and I were connected at the hip. Our families ate together often, our house, their house, favorite restaurants. We were even pregnant at the same time, due only a couple of months apart. I'll never forget the day Michael and I left Bonham. I cried a lot that day. We've drifted apart, a common theme in my life, as the coaching life is busy, but I have no doubt I could call her even now, and she'd be there for me.

Unless you've been in our shoes, you can't understand what it's like to be a female in this profession. The double standards? Too many to count. (Maybe a topic for another time.) But when you're lucky enough to not only have a great coach by your side, but also someone you call a friend, the job is a little easier. And definitely more fun!

See the Good, Be the Good

A Time For Everything

(Disclaimer: I wrote this a month ago or so, but apparently forgot to publish it. Oops!)

(Photo Cred: Mandy Bolin)

Wearing two layers of clothes and wrapped tightly in a Christmas blanket, I enjoyed our last football game of the year. Once again the cards did not fall in our favor, but once again our boys showed heart in the face of adversity.  

It's no secret that nearly every team we've played this season has been bigger than us. There's no denying our sparse sideline compared to the fuller sidelines of our opponents. And let's just talk for a moment about the season-ending injuries we've faced: too many. 

Unfortunately, the same injury curse could be seen with our volleyball team.

Where do we go from here? I've been in mourning for a couple of weeks over volleyball season ending. Are there things I would have done differently? Absolutely. Every coach looks back and says the same thing (if they're honest with themselves.) All I can do is learn from this season and begin preparing for next season.  

People will not always agree with the decisions I make. That comes with the territory of being a head coach. I will never, no matter how hard I try, make everyone happy. Enemies are created, whether it be intentional or not. But I rest easy knowing I make every decision in the best interest of my girls and my team. I want to win, just like everyone else does. I've never met a coach who isn't making decisions based on winning. If they say otherwise, they're lying.

Want to know why? Everyone's happy if you're winning. No matter what. End of story. Fini.

Don't misunderstand: teaching kids how to survive in life, how to become contributing citizens, about respect and honor is infinitely more important; but winning remains a top goal. Everyone wants their kids to have success, and it's our job to help them achieve that. 

A sweet friend of mine has a son who plays on a traditionally winning team. This season, thanks mainly to realignment, they have struggled. She said recently, "There's no glory in losing. I don't know how you and Michael have done it the last two years." She said this out of true sympathy, because she knows how badly we want it for our teams, and that we are willing to do whatever to achieve success, both for personal reasons and because we love this community and these kids so much. (And she knows how undeniably competitive we are!)

There's a joke in the coaching profession that goes something like this: "If you win, it's because of the athletes. If you lose, it's because of the coach." We all know, win or lose, it's a little of both, but sometimes it feels less like joke and more like the truth, at least in the eyes of the outside world. So I just have to put one foot in front of the other, keep my head held high, and trust in God to help me make the best decisions for my kids. That's all I can do. 

To all of the amazing kids I am blessed to work with: thank you, thank you, thank you! While you may give me a headache from time to time, the joy you give me far outweighs the stress. I look forward to going to "work" each and every day. 

To the parents of these kids: thank you for trusting me with your babies. I know it's not easy! But know that you have done an amazing job raising these kids, which only makes my job easier. 

To those of you who have been there through it all: you are literally the reason I am able to keep going. Your random texts, pats on the shoulder, sweet hugs, all mean more than you will ever know. 

To my non-supporters: we may not see eye-to-eye on things, but please know that I care about the kids of Grand Saline as though they were my own. And that's what is most important. 

So, goodbye to another season. I am already looking forward #gsvbpo15!  

What's next? "Fore!"